Reconnecting with Your ‘Why’ & Your Inner Purpose
MELINDA HARCOURT
September 5, 2023
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As creative business owners, many of us are naturally hard-wired to constantly be juggling a million things, manically chasing our tails NON-STOP.
Without balance and a grounded perspective, today’s rise-and-grind hustle culture can also quickly become a toxic mentality.
Never permitting ourselves to switch off, we’re addicted to the feeling of being “busy”, even if it’s mindless busyness. Obsessed with the constant “doing”, it becomes a vicious cycle until you’re left feeling depleted and burnt out. All creativity zapped, you crash and crumble into a hot mess.
Then you kick yourself for “not working hard enough”. And if your business isn’t doing all too well, you drown in that self-hating, negative self-talk even more.
So, instead of taking a proper break to refresh and reset, you reluctantly drag yourself back into it all, desperately clawing your way back into the swing of things.
But the mountain keeps getting higher and higher while you’re busy digging a hole deeper and deeper…until you can barely see the light.
(Repeat and repeat again.)
Sound familiar?🥴
Whether it’s work, family or chores, our focus is almost on anything and anyone but ourselves.
Always deprioritising your own needs, you feel selfish for wanting a break, let alone actually enjoying one.
But if we took it all away – all the pressure, success, commitments, EVERYTHING – and you had nothing to do or worry about, besides yourself, how would you feel?
Would you enjoy your own company?
Would you feel at peace with yourself?
Would you be proud of who you are?
More importantly, what would your 5-year-old self think of the person you’ve become?
When you take away all the distractions and “all the things”, what is your purpose? What is your ‘WHY’?
At our core, buried beneath all the distractions, we all have an authentic sense of self.
A deep sense of passion and purpose.
That small inner voice that fights for air, reminding you to reconnect with your “why”.
It always has and always will be there for you to tap into.
How to find and reconnect with your innate ‘why’ in 3 simple steps
1) Dig deep – beyond your self-limiting beliefs
To reconnect with your purpose, you must first determine what really drives you and brings you the most fulfilment in life.
Set aside your self-limiting beliefs and ignore all the constraints – what would you and where would you be if time, money and talent weren’t an issue and failing wasn’t a possibility?
Whether it’s through journalling or some quiet time, ask yourself:
- What are my values?
- What makes me truly happy?
- What are my strengths and weaknesses?
- What inspires me to be better?
- What am I doing when I feel the most myself?
- What activities do I look forward to the most?
- What am I naturally good at and enjoy doing?
- What have I accomplished that I’m most proud of?
- What would I regret not doing in life?
- What does my ideal life look like?
Dig deep. Write down anything and everything that comes to mind, no matter how far-fetched or insignificant they may seem.
Only you can answer your life’s deepest questions. Allow yourself to explore new areas that have previously never crossed your mind and the old areas you may have forgotten about.
Remember that this is for you and no one else.
2) Release & heal your inner child
Your metaphorical inner child – that carefree, curious, loving, imaginative and playful child that was (and still is) within you.
As we get older, caught up in our everyday roles and responsibilities, we drift further and further away from our inner child. Whether we’re too busy living up to society’s standards or comparing ourselves to others, we get stuck in patterns and habits that don’t serve us.
Without realising it, your neglected inner child may be influencing your beliefs, emotions, and behaviours, impacting your relationship with yourself and the people you love.
Succumbing to surrounding pressures and potentially suppressing past trauma, releasing and healing your inner child can be both a confronting and liberating experience.
Simple ways to start (re)connecting with your inner child:
- Visualise yourself as a child and allow childhood memories to resurface
- Write a letter to your inner child
- Spend time having fun and reigniting your sense of “play”
- Nurture your creativity without the need for perfectionism
- Practice being present and mindful, allowing yourself to “live in the now”
As hard as your parents may have tried, there may be areas that were neglected, resulting in deep, emotional wounds. The more you understand and heal your inner child’s needs, the more you’ll be able to reframe and release any blockages.
Most importantly, learn to re-parent yourself with unconditional love, kindness and compassion. Make it a priority to regularly check in with your thoughts and feelings so you can become your own source of validation, rather than relying on others’ approval or opinions.
If you’re struggling with thoughts and/or memories that are resurfacing, professional therapy is a great avenue to explore. Ask for help so you can overcome the roadblocks and move forward in your healing journey.
3) Start taking small steps every day
Just like those of us who struggle to stick to a gym routine, today’s fast-paced world has us fixated on instant gratification. We want results right here and right now.
If we’re going to part with our already-scarce time, money or energy, we want everything we do to have an impact.
With an “all or nothing” mentality, we overlook the small everyday choices required to begin the journey of reconnecting with our purpose. Because there’s always tomorrow.
But all it takes is ONE SMALL STEP to get started.
It doesn’t need to be a big or glamorous leap like quitting your job or going on an ‘Eat, Pray, Love‘ sabbatical.
It could be as simple as choosing to cook yourself a nourishing breakfast, going for a brisk morning walk, or spending a few minutes journalling each morning.
Every choice you make is a conscious opportunity to serve your purpose and start becoming your best self. Rewiring your brain, those little steps and choices will soon become healthy, unconscious habits.
To move forward with purpose, look inward first.
Become your own biggest source of inspiration and motivation. Be your biggest ‘why’.
Slow down so you can enjoy the present.
Hit ‘pause’ so you can reflect and reset, as often as you need to.
Set your own pace.
Run your own race.
Fill your own cup.
Start living a life and writing a future that aligns with your deep purpose.
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